What Every Advisor Should Know About Legacy Letters
A Legacy Letter is a written message meant to be read when someone is no longer here. It’s not a legal document, and it’s not a financial plan. It’s something more personal.
Traditionally these types of letters are often included as part of an estate plan, stored alongside a will, or handed down with instructions. They can be incredibly meaningful. As advisors, we should absolutely encourage clients to write them.
At Total Family, we think about Legacy Letters a little differently.
We don’t view legacy as a checkbox or a final chapter. We see it as an ongoing expression of care, reflection, and relationship.
Here’s the reality: at some point — expected or not — we’ll lose the chance to say what we’ve always meant to say. That makes today the right time to start.
Where to Begin
We often start with letters to children.
The note a parent writes to a 5-year-old will naturally differ from one they might write to a 25- or 55-year-old. But each version carries value. Each captures something worth preserving.
The same goes for a letter to a spouse on an anniversary. Or to a parent, after reconciliation. Or to a sibling during a moment of transition.
And in a way, people are already doing this — a message in a birthday card, a note in a lunchbox, a quick email to a child away at school. Legacy Letters are simply a more intentional version of something most families already practice.
Why It Matters
Sometimes, it’s easier to write things down than say them out loud. And many clients have never taken the time to say what really matters — not to their spouse, not to their children, not even to themselves.
Writing a letter helps them see what they think, feel, and believe. That kind of clarity is valuable in its own right.
We’ve seen this over and over: when someone writes one Legacy Letter, they often want to write another. But they need help getting started.
Your Role as an Advisor
That’s where you come in.
You don’t have to walk them through every word. You just need to create the space.
Try this in your next meeting:
“If you disappeared tomorrow, is there anything you’d want your children or spouse to hear from you?”
That one question can be the start of something deeply meaningful.
A Story That Stuck With Us
One story that stays with us came from a conversation with a group of advisors at a multi-family office. When we brought up the idea of Legacy Letters, none of the advisors in the room had written one to their own children.
But then one advisor raised his hand and shared something different. His late father had written him a letter before passing away. He said it was one of the most valuable things he owned.
That moment said everything.
How to Begin (and Help Clients Begin)
Inside FamilyOS, Legacy Letters are easy to find and simple to use.
Go to Total Legacy
Click on Legacy Vault
Click on “Write a Legacy Letter”
Encourage them to start with something short. It doesn’t have to be ten pages. It doesn’t have to be polished. It just has to be theirs.
Lead by example. Write one yourself.
Talk to your clients about it from first-hand experience.
Use your family meetings to normalize it.
Make it part of your client experience.
The first letter is the hardest. But once it’s written, they’ll understand why it matters.
