Common Advisor Pushback on Legacy Letters
At Total Family, we believe advisors are more than financial professionals — they’re partners in helping families preserve more than just wealth.
That includes guiding clients to capture the messages and moments that matter most.
But when it comes to Legacy Letters, even experienced advisors raise valid concerns.
Here’s how we respond.
1. “This feels too emotional.”
Not all legacy letters have to be emotional.
We’ve seen clients write letters that include:
Favorite books, films, or philosophies
Personal stories or lessons they hope to pass on
Simple notes of encouragement or identity
These letters become reference points.
They become anchors for family culture.
More importantly, the act of writing helps clients:
Reflect on what matters most
Get their thoughts out of their head and onto the page
Gain clarity — even objectivity
Sometimes, clients say things in writing they’ve never said aloud—to a spouse, a child, or even to you.
That’s valuable, whether the tone is emotional or not.
You’re not asking for a memoir.
You’re helping them unlock a message that matters.
2. “I don’t have time to walk clients through something like this.”
You don’t need to carve out new meetings.
Legacy Letters can be folded into your existing workflow:
Bring it up casually during a review
Ask a single, thoughtful question
Show them where to find the feature inside FamilyOS
Then let the client take it from there.
If you bring it up consistently—and your firm starts to normalize it as part of the client experience—you’ll be amazed by the results:
Clients begin writing on their own
Stories emerge that you’ve never heard before
Relationships deepen in unexpected ways
You didn’t write the letter.
But you created the space.
And that’s something to take deep pride in.
3. “This feels too personal — I don’t want to cross a line.”
Here’s the truth:
You are already in the business of legacy.
If your client doesn’t talk to you about these things, who will they talk to?
You already know:
Their goals
Their fears
The people who matter most in their lives
Just because the conversation feels unfamiliar doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate.
It means it’s powerful.
You don’t have to push. You just have to invite.
And the advisors who do — who grow into these conversations over time — are the ones who will not only retain clients…
They’ll change lives.
That’s what it means to be a Visionary Advisor.
