Why Purpose Is the Hardest Part of Vision Work

Purpose is a core component of vision.
It’s also the part we’ve seen families and advisors struggle with the most.

If you want to confuse a client quickly, ask them what their purpose is—then hand them a blank sheet of paper.

Most of the time, you’ll get a blank stare.
That’s not a failure of the client.
It’s a signal: purpose needs a more practical entry point.

Why This Matters for Advisors

Legacy work is still early. There’s no universal playbook.

One of the roles Total Family has taken on is learning in public—so our advisor partners don’t have to. We’re constantly testing and refining ways to make legacy work easier to introduce, easier to explain, and easier to use in real client conversations.

Purpose sits right at the center of that effort.

For advisors guiding clients through legacy planning, wealth transfer, and family values conversations, purpose often becomes the piece that makes vision personal and actionable.

Why Purpose Is So Hard to Articulate

Purpose is not the same as a goal.

Goals can be checked off. They’re time-bound and specific.
Purpose is your why.
It’s your North Star.
It’s the deeper reason that guides decision-making, even as life circumstances change.

Because purpose is aspirational, it’s often hard to define from scratch.
And asking someone to write it down with no structure tends to create pressure, not clarity.

We learned that through trial and error.

What Didn’t Work

We tried multiple approaches:

• Crafting purpose statements in live coaching

• Assigning pre-work to define purpose

• Starting with open-ended questions and reflection exercises

Clients understood that purpose mattered.
They just didn’t know where to begin.

That insight forced a shift in how we help families approach this part of their vision work.

Moving From Conceptual to Practical

The breakthrough came when we stopped asking clients to define purpose from nothing—and started giving them something to react to.

Here’s how the process works now.

Step One: Broad Purpose Categories

Clients begin by answering a short series of questions. Based on their answers, they’re placed into a broad purpose category—like Conserver, Builder, or Protector.

These categories aren’t meant to be perfect.
They’re meant to be recognizable.

Clients often read their result and say, “That sounds like me.”
That moment creates momentum.

Step Two: Purpose Statements to Edit

Next, clients see a small group of sample purpose statements aligned with their category—usually eight to ten.

They choose the one that resonates most.

That step alone is helpful. But the real value comes next.

Where the Real Work Happens

After a client selects a purpose statement, the editing begins.

• Some tweak a word.

• Others rewrite the whole thing.

• Some leave it as-is, but revisit it later.

The key is that they now have a starting point.

Editing is easier than creating.
Reacting is easier than inventing.

Once purpose becomes editable, it becomes usable.

A Moment That Stuck With Us

One advisor shared a moment that captured this beautifully.

Their client selected a purpose statement that read:

“Harvest joy and share the fruits.”

They loved it so much, they had it made into a sign and hung it in their home.

That single sentence became a guiding idea for the entire family.

This is when purpose stops being theoretical—and starts showing up in daily life.

What Advisors Should Take From This

Purpose doesn’t need to be “solved.”
It needs to be accessible.

Advisors aren’t expected to write perfect language or become philosophers.
They’re simply making space for clients to explore what matters—and helping them find language that sticks.

When purpose becomes practical:

• Vision conversations deepen

• Legacy work gains traction

• Clients reflect more meaningfully on their lives

And that makes advisory relationships stronger, more durable, and more relevant across generations.

Purpose, Defined

At Total Family, we define Purpose simply:

Purpose is your why.
It’s your North Star.
It guides decisions over time—even as goals, roles, and life circumstances evolve.

We haven’t “figured out” purpose, and we don’t believe anyone ever fully does.

Our own purpose is Doing Legacy Better. That means continuing to test, learn, and refine so advisors don’t have to start from scratch.

Purpose will always evolve.
Our job is to make it usable along the way.

That’s progress worth being proud of.