Which Vision Comes First: Personal or Family?
Picture this: a family is caring for an aging parent. Each sibling has their own ideas about what’s best, shaped by their values, life experiences, and priorities. These differences don’t have to cause conflict, but without a shared Vision, decisions can feel fragmented.
That’s why we’re often asked:
“Should we create a family Vision together, or start with our own personal Vision?”
The answer: Start with your personal Vision first. Then you’ll be ready to build something meaningful together.
Why start with Personal Vision?
Before you can come together as a family, you need to be clear on what matters to you.
Ask yourself:
What do I value most?
What’s driving my purpose?
Which roles and responsibilities feel most important right now?
That clarity gives you something real to bring into a shared conversation.
You don’t have to share the exact same vision with your spouse, sibling, or other family members. But if you’re making joint decisions like caring for aging parents, running a family business, or shaping a legacy, a shared Vision becomes powerful.
What is a Personal Vision?
Inside our FamilyOS, each person begins with their own personal vision, made up of three parts:
Values – what’s most important to you
Purpose – your “why,” what motivates and inspires you
Roles – where you’re focusing your energy right now
You can define your values, purpose, and roles in many ways, but the easiest way––and we’re biased––is by using our FamilyOS from Total Family. You can enroll directly or through your wealth advisor, and it takes less than fifteen minutes.
This personal Vision is your foundation. Once you’ve built yours, and your spouse or family members have built theirs, you’re ready to move into shared vision work.
What is a Shared Family Vision?
In the second step, you define together:
Shared family values
A shared purpose statement
Shared family priorities
Roles stay in the personal Vision because your daily responsibilities are unique to you.
The Family Vision focuses on what you’re working on together. These shared priorities help you align on what matters most right now and can influence your roles.
You can create your personal Vision on your own in Total Family. The shared family Vision can be built either in Total Family or through a coaching session with a Total Family coach.
Why the order matters
Starting with personal vision gives everyone a common language:
How to talk about what matters
How to express priorities
How to listen for what’s most important to others
When you share personal Vision with your loved ones, it creates common language, connection and clarity—while keeping the conversation positive and energizing. Without that shared vocabulary, conversations can feel vague or be avoided. With it, discussions become clearer, easier, and more respectful.
One more thing
Shared Vision doesn’t mean giving up who you are. It’s about honoring what’s meaningful to each person, and building something stronger together.
You’re not losing your individuality. You’re creating alignment without erasing identity. That’s how the best family decisions get made—with clarity, trust, and unity.
