Self-Actualization as Legacy: The Advisor’s New Frontier
This piece draws from a recent conversation between Ken Haman, Managing Director of the AllianceBernstein Advisor Institute, and Alex Kirby, CEO of Total Family, featured on Secrets of Successful Advisors. Ken’s deep understanding of how advisors must meet clients at their point of need aligned with Alex’s vision for Total Family — a technology that helps families and advisors connect where it matters most: at the intersection of wealth, purpose, and legacy.
Legacy Work at the Point of Need
In today’s wealth landscape, a quiet but profound shift is taking place. Millions of high- and ultra-high-net-worth families have reached a point where financial management alone no longer defines success. Their attention has turned inward, toward meaning, purpose, and the question of what their success is ultimately for. Yet most advisors still approach these clients through the same financial lens that served them years ago, missing a deeper human opportunity hiding in plain sight.
Advisors who can meet clients precisely at their point of need — the moment when wealth gives way to questions of meaning — will define the next era of advisory work. That opportunity lies at the intersection of wealth and self-understanding. As clients move beyond meeting material needs, they enter what psychologist Abraham Maslow called the self-actualization stage, a natural evolution in the journey of wealth. For advisors, this isn’t a soft concept; it’s the next great frontier of client engagement. Families are ready to talk about legacy planning not as an afterthought, but as the next expression of their growth. Those who help them articulate and live that legacy will redefine what exceptional advisory work looks like in the decade ahead.
Self-Actualization as the New Definition of Success
For many families at this stage, the conversation isn’t about having more; it’s about being more. The pursuit of self-actualization has become the truest measure of fulfillment. Yet turning that aspiration into something families and advisors can actually work with has long been the missing piece.
That’s where the concept of Vision comes in — a structured way to define who a person is, what matters most, and how they want their life and wealth to serve that purpose. At Total Family, Vision is built on three essential elements: Values, Purpose, and Roles. Values reveal what’s most important. Purpose provides direction, not a goal to chase but a compass to follow. Roles clarify where energy and attention truly belong.
When families articulate these together, they begin to see a clearer picture of their best selves, and advisors gain a powerful foundation for values-based advising and wealth management with purpose. This alignment between inner clarity and external guidance is where legacy begins — not at the end of life, but in every intentional decision made along the way.
The Path Forward: From Vision to Legacy with Total Family
For advisors, the challenge has never been caring too little; it’s been lacking the tools to translate care into clarity. Many clients want to think about their legacy, but few know where to begin. They sense that their decisions should reflect what matters most, yet those priorities often remain undefined.
Total Family bridges that gap through a three-layered approach to legacy work: technology that supports families and gives advisors deeper insight, advisors who integrate that insight into meaningful conversations, and both meeting at the client’s point of need — where the desire for purpose becomes the foundation for lasting impact.
Through the platform, families define their Vision — their Values, Purpose, and Roles entered in their own words. Advisors then use these insights to guide conversations that matter most. Imagine sitting across from a client and saying, “I understand that authenticity and family connection are two of your top values; let’s use that as a filter for this next decision.” The discussion shifts from transactional to transformational. Decisions feel not just strategic but right, because they align with the client’s core truth.
When values guide choices, clients experience a kind of emotional coherence that’s hard to replicate any other way. It feels grounded, centered, and deeply satisfying. And for advisors, those moments build trust that no portfolio report ever could. Over time, these insights compound, creating a shared language of meaning and advisor-client alignment — where every financial or personal choice becomes another step toward wealth management with purpose and an intentional legacy.
Legacy in Practice: The Future of Advisory Work
A new definition of advisory excellence is emerging, one where understanding the human story behind the numbers becomes the greatest differentiator. As more families reach the stage of self-actualization, they are no longer looking for someone to simply manage wealth. They are seeking a partner who helps them give it meaning. Advisors who integrate Total Family into their practice are stepping to the forefront of that shift, offering something wealth alone cannot provide: clarity, alignment, and peace of mind.
Legacy work is not about someday. It is about today — the conversations, choices, and relationships that shape a family’s ongoing story. When advisors help clients connect to their values, purpose, and roles, every plan becomes more than a financial strategy; it becomes an expression of identity and intention. That is the kind of impact that endures across generations, guiding generational wealth transfer and meaningful legacy planning.
For families, this is what self-actualization done well looks like. For advisors, it represents the future of the profession — one grounded not only in performance, but in purpose. And for both, it is an invitation to keep asking the most important question of all: What does it mean to leave it better than we found it?
Together, Total Family helps advisors and families live their answer to that question — every day, and for generations to come.
