Laying the Foundation: Your Personal and Shared Vision
When a client begins their legacy journey inside Total Family’s FamilyOS, one of the most meaningful first steps for an advisor to take is a conversation about vision — both personal and shared. This conversation isn’t about making decisions or checking boxes. It’s about understanding, curiosity, and connection. The goal is to create space for your clients to articulate what matters most to them.
Before the Meeting:
To prepare for a successful conversation, both the advisor and the client should do a few things in advance:
Ask your clients to complete their personal vision exercises within FamilyOS before the meeting. Ideally, they’ll also complete the shared vision section.
Review the client’s vision reflections in advance and come to the meeting prepared to pull up the FamilyOS dashboard. Whether in-person or virtual, screen-sharing is critical — it fosters transparency and helps everyone feel like they are working together.
Share the meeting agenda template with your clients ahead of time to set expectations. Let them know this is a conversation about curiosity and discovery, not problem solving. The goal is to learn and explore, not decide.
Pro tip: If only one spouse has completed their vision, you can still hold the meeting. Start by reviewing the completed vision and use it to invite the other spouse into the conversation. Seeing what their partner wrote often builds trust and encourages participation.
Best Practices:
Engage both spouses or partners. Ensure everyone has a voice in the discussion..
Share a story. Having completed the Vision exercises yourself, bring a personal example or a client story that illustrates how this work can be meaningful.
Normalize emotion and difference. If emotions surface or disagreements arise, don’t rush to smooth them over. Those differences already exist — surfacing them is progress. When needed, set a topic aside or look for agreement inside disagreement.
During the Meeting:
Start with Personal Vision. Invite each person to share one value or role they identified that felt especially true to them. Ask what surprised them or what resonated. If both spouses are present, encourage discussion around similarities and differences. These early conversations often surface more alignment than expected.
Move into Shared Vision next. Use the FamilyOS prompts as a guide. Listen for goals, hopes, and points of connection. The most powerful insights often come from simply holding space for clients to talk and be heard.
Next Steps:
Set the right pace. Remind your client that legacy work is most effective when done slowly, over time. There’s no pressure to take immediate action. What matters is that they’ve started.
Create Continuity. Ask how often they’d like to revisit conversations like this — and take note for future meetings.
Explore Next Steps. If appropriate, discuss whether they are ready to begin documenting milestone stories or writing a legacy letter.
Success in this meeting isn’t measured by completion — it’s measured by connection. A successful outcome is a client who feels heard, understood, and interested in continuing the conversation.
As their advisor, your role is to support, not direct. These conversations are a chance to strengthen trust and open the door to deeper multi-generational relationships. You’re helping your clients lay the foundation for a legacy that lasts.
