How Estate Planning and Legacy Actually Fit Together
Advisors often ask:
“How does the legacy work Total Family focuses on actually tie into estate planning?”
It’s an important question — and a necessary one. Estate planning is one of the most tangible expressions of legacy work. Wills, trusts, and legal structures matter. They protect families. They reduce risk. And they turn intent into action.
But estate planning and legacy serve different purposes.
One creates enforceable outcomes. The other provides the emotional and philosophical context that makes those outcomes meaningful.
A helpful way to understand how they work together comes from Life Worth Living, a book that describes four layers of how people move through the world — from surface-level to deeply reflective.
Those four layers are:
Autopilot
Effectiveness
Self-awareness
Self-transcendence
You can also think of them as:
Habits
Strategy
Vision
Truth
The top two are action-oriented. The bottom two are reflection-oriented. Legacy and estate planning both belong — but they sit in different layers.
Layer One: Autopilot
“I know I should do something… but I haven’t.”
This is where many families begin. Most Americans do not have a completed estate plan.
(As of 2025, only 24% of Americans have a will.)
It’s not because they don’t care — it’s because legacy and mortality are easy to avoid. These topics are emotionally uncomfortable and rarely urgent. So families delay.
The problem is, something always gets passed on. Even without planning, families transfer habits, patterns, assumptions, and silence. This is legacy by default, not by design.
David York, author of Entrusted, often says: “Families aren’t uninformed — they’re uninspired.” Without a compelling reason to engage, autopilot persists.
Listen: David York on The Visionary Advisor Podcast
Layer Two: Effectiveness
“I need to take action.”
Something eventually triggers movement — a diagnosis, a new baby, a business exit. Suddenly, legacy feels urgent. So the family moves.
They hire an attorney. They build a trust. They execute a will.
This is the strategy layer, and it’s where estate planning lives.
This work is essential. It provides legal structure, clarity, and protection. But too often, this is where families stop. The plan exists. The documents are signed. But the deeper reflection never happens.
James Clear writes in Atomic Habits that humans are drawn to systems and action — even when direction is unclear — because action feels productive.
But what’s missing isn’t effort. It’s introspection.
Layer Three: Self-Awareness
“What do I actually want my legacy to be?”
This is the layer where legacy work truly begins.
Before — or even alongside — building documents, families benefit from answering different questions:
What do we truly Value?
What gives our life Purpose?
What Roles do we want to strengthen?
At Total Family, we define Vision simply: Values, Purpose, and Roles.
Without this shared language, families struggle to express what matters most. Advisors struggle to translate that meaning into structure. The risk? Estate plans that are efficient but emotionally disconnected.
Legacy work at this stage helps families articulate intent — not just outcomes. And this is exactly where FamilyOS by Total Family supports the process. Not by replacing estate planning — but by creating a living space for meaning, identity, and reflection.
Layer Four: Self-Transcendence
“Is the legacy I’m aiming for actually worth wanting?”
This is the deepest and least-discussed layer. It’s not just about what families want — it’s about why they want it.
A client might say: “I want to maximize wealth.” But that’s only part of the story.
What kind of character does that reinforce? What message does it send? What does it shape in the next generation?
This layer invites families to consider:
Who is this legacy for?
What will it mean decades from now?
What tradeoffs are we unconsciously accepting?
Few families live here full-time — but the ones who visit it regularly often see everything else more clearly.
Robert Balentine explores this in First Generation Wealth, noting that the most fulfilled families aren’t those who postpone legacy to the end. They’re the ones who integrate it early and revisit it often.
Listen: Robert Balentine on Legacy
Legacy is not a final chapter.
It’s an ongoing conversation.
Legacy and Estate Planning Are Iterative — Not Linear
Families don’t move through these layers once and complete them.
They loop. They revisit. They shift.
A family might finish an estate plan, then later revisit their Values. They might clarify Purpose, then update their documents. One season might call for tactical action. Another might call for deep reflection.
That’s not a flaw. It’s a healthy process.
Legacy and estate planning are not competing disciplines. They are distinct layers of the same work.
Estate planning turns decisions into enforceable structure.
Legacy work ensures those decisions are rooted in meaning.
The best advisors help families move intentionally between both.
Why This Matters for Advisors
When advisors understand these layers, a common tension disappears.
Legacy work doesn’t slow estate planning down.
It makes it clearer.
It doesn’t replace legal documents.
It gives them context.
It doesn’t require therapists or philosophers.
It simply creates space for better questions.
That’s where durable legacy planning lives — at the intersection of structure and meaning.
Add legacy to the next agenda.
That’s where the real work begins.
