What Does Your Family Always and Never Say?
"Perspective has an expiration date."
— Will Guidara, Unreasonable Hospitality
Client Experience Spotlight Idea:
Empower your clients to reflect on their family culture from several perspectives—past, present, and future—to shape the legacy they want to pass on.
Every home holds a story. The places we grow up shape how we see the world, how we raise our own families, and the legacy we hope to pass on. One of the simplest, and most powerful ways to explore this is what I call the 'Always and Never' exercise.
Start With These Prompts:
When you were growing up… (2) When you were raising your children…
What did your family always do?
Example: Always remember, 'This is the youngest you'll ever be.' or if you didn’t cook, you always help with the dishes.What did your family never do?
Example: Never take something that isn’t yours.
What to Say:
Family culture is shaped over time, not just by what we say but by what we do, celebrate, and remember. This exercise helps surface those patterns so you can be even more intentional about the legacy you’re creating.
Content Worth Exploring More
Read: Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life through the Power of Storytelling
Why It Matters:
Stories are how humans remember. Stories are one of the most effective ways to transfer the shared knowledge (Intellectual Capital) of a family.
The Exeter Family:
In our family, sticking together wasn’t just advice—it was survival strategy, passed down like an heirloom from one generation to the next.
My great-grandfather had three boys, born six years apart. He used to tell them again and again, "Look out for one another. Stick together." It wasn’t just words—he lived it. When they were little, he refused to let one come into the house unless he knew exactly where all three were. Together in, or not in at all.
That message took on a new, deeper meaning in 1941, when all three were drafted to fight with the Allied Forces in World War II. On the night before they shipped out, my great-grandfather gathered them around the kitchen table.
With trembling hands, he pulled a dollar bill from his wallet—and ripped it into three jagged pieces, one for each brother. He told them, "Even when you’re far apart, you carry each other’s strength. And one day, you’ll put this back together."
It wasn’t easy. It was never certain they’d all return. But they did.
And for the rest of his life, that fragile, taped-together dollar sat in my Grandpa John Exeter’s office as a silent reminder of the power of unity.
Growing up, he would tell me and my sister, "You’re stronger together than you are apart." And now, that same fragile dollar sits in my own office. I often find myself pointing to it when I talk to my own children about what it means to stand together—especially when life tries to pull you apart.
"Stronger Together Than Apart."
It’s not just a phrase in our family. It’s a purpose we carry forward.
Activity: Ask your clients…
What’s a story your family never stops telling—the one that gets repeated at every gathering? What truth, value, or lesson does that story carry for your family’s future?
How can we capture and retell it in a way that ensures the next generation never forgets it?
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